Injustice… The Helplessness of Injustice #SnoopDogg

Autism sucks. Yes, autism sucks. It’s not our neurotype or wiring that’s problematic. In fact, I really like the way in which we think and how we see a different side of things and perceive things a lot of people don’t. The problem is the disabilities that come along with it. The behaviors, the emotional dysregulation, the sensory processing issues, the comorbidities, the anxiety, depression and anger. Those are the things I’d change. Those are things a lot of people on the spectrum need help with and those are the things that help is seriously lacking for in our state and from what I’m hearing, many other states as well. There is simply a lack of appropriate services, lack of staffing, and total lack of understanding autism.

On paper, I have a THAT child. The problematic child. The misunderstood kid who is constantly judged for his brutal honestly, inability to handle emotions, and his verbal outbursts that might scare others or hurt people’s feelings but people don’t understand the difference between real threats and an autistic person going to the verbal extreme when feeling their emotions are out of control. For this, we are judged. We must be bad parents. We must NOT be helping our kid. We must be doing something wrong. We didn’t discipline him or we didn’t discipline him enough because that would have simply solved those ‘problems.’ Total lack of understanding. SMH. And we are judged. We are mocked. We are ridiculed. No body thinks about words vs actions. No body stops to see past the verbal language and into the actions of this child through the many years he’s suffered. If he’s such a bad kid, why has he not harmed someone? Why has he not made good on his verbal vomit? Why are any incidents against him only verbal in nature? Do they not see his love for animals? Even bugs, saving bugs from being squished and releasing them outside. His drive to help someone who’s struggling. Why don’t people see the good and only focus on the bad? The bad due to emotional regulation issues and lack of any proper supports to truly help him cope and learn appropriate skills to self regulate. The lack of a good mentor who can spend real time with him out in the community and bond with him. Where are these mentors?

So when an incident happens out in the community and an injustice occurs, the first thought of many is, “What did HE do this time?” “He must have deserved it.” “It’s his fault.” “The problem child.” But what if he didn’t do anything that warranted the kind of incident and treatment that took place on 12/14 of 2022? An incident that not only traumatized ME but my child as well. An incident that was completely unjust, discriminatory and caused a traumatic meltdown in not only my son, but me as well. An event that has scarred my brain and left me feeling vulnerable, helpless, lost, depressed, and so mortified and upset, I don’t know how to process it and get through it. Where is the justice? Where is the help? How does this wrong get made right? What are our options, our recourses? I can’t let this one go. I just can’t. I can’t stop ruminating on it and I can’t just move on. I’m traumatized. Traumatized by a situation that led to my own mental health collapse after a really tough year and spending a lot of money and excitement waiting to attend an event that meant so much to me and my child. An event that I spent so much anxiety, fear, and anxiousness over as I am disabled and it takes a lot of prep to leave my home and do something like this and in a moment, it was all taken away. Everything. Gone, just like that, with no explanation, no recourse, no justice, and no return of the money I paid which was a huge amount to make this happen. No items that I paid for for both of us to receive that was saved for the end of the event so we didn’t have to hold it while the show was in process and no way to obtain what we paid for, no way to ever get back that once in a lifetime experience and no way to fix the damage that’s been done to us. Why? Why did this happen? This was our night of respite. This was our chance to get out of these 4 walls that have isolated us for so long. And that got taken from us.

I have written to the venue asking for answers. No one will write me back. There MUST be answers. How can one man (MAV security) make a call that effects a person’s life without any explanation, any way to defend themselves or anyway to stop an injustice from happening. How can that one man have so much control while we sit by helpless and mocked for my own disability? How can a person who is disabled be treated in a such a manor as I was without empathy, compassion, or regulations in place to keep someone in my condition from experiencing a situation like this that caused me harm? I am not healthy enough to advocate for myself. My brain wants to completely shut down thinking about this night. But I need answers. I need restitution. I need help making this situation right and I don’t know how to do that. I don’t have the money to hire an attorney to fight on my behalf, to mediate this situation and file the right papers, pushing the venue to respond to my requests and get the restitution we so rightly deserve. I feel lost and so very vulnerable right now.

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8 thoughts on “Injustice… The Helplessness of Injustice #SnoopDogg

  1. Please, tell us more information about the situation… what event were you at, how much you paid, what issue occurred and how did it happen, etc.

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    1. We went to the Snoop Dogg Concert at Ford Idaho Center in Nampa. I paid the top price for the VIP after show meet and greet with dinner and a $200 loot package. It cost me over $1600 for two tickets, something I really couldn’t afford but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and my son and I don’t get out of the house much. I thought this would be a good respite opportunity and a positive experience for him to draw from. He’s not in a good spot in life and doesn’t want to live a disabled life. I just wanted to provide happy experiences for him to keep him going.
      I’m not sure WHAT happened to get us booted which is the thing. I written to the company asking for what incident took place (twice) and no one will respond. Their phones have been down for a week so I can’t call and I’m not sure where to go to in person which is much harder due to my disability.
      The only possible thing I can think that happened is there were several instances of someone spilling their drinks on my son. I had my own drink spilled on me 2 times and my first drink was kicked over when someone walked by. A lady walked by again with her husband (?) and another man and my son stood up and said something to them. He told me that was the lady that spilled her drink on him. The men got in his face and I stood between them. I explained he is autistic, over stimulated and had her drink spilled on him and was upset but that he’s ok, just let it go and he’ll be fine. The guy backed off and they all sat down. Then we sat down and Snoop Dogg had just come on and we were watching the show when a security officer approached us told us to grab our things and leave. I was shocked. I wanted to know why.
      We were brought to a side area where I stopped to ask what was going on and he refused to tell me WHAT we did to get kicked out. I explained my son has autism but he didn’t do anything wrong. The guy was really rude and had more security approach to escort us off. I asked to stop by the bathroom as I am disabled and needed to go. They refused to allow me to go. Part of my disability affects my bladder, my ability to walk, stand long, and definitely being in the cold. The guy looked and my face and told me to just go pull my pants down outside and pee out those doors. I showed them my emergency alert bracelets. I tried to explain my conditions. I was made to go outside in 20 degree weather. I was not allowed to retrieve my phone which must have dropped on the way out and is my assistive device. I have no contact info stored in my brain due to brain issues. Everything is on that phone, my appointments, alarms, calendar.
      I ended up having a mental health break down. That’s the first time as an adult I had a complete breakdown. I think the worst part for me was knowing how my son was going to react once we got home. He doesn’t handle disappointment well. He has his own meltdowns and has had so many negative experiences in life and this was something he was soooo excited about and he knew how I excited I was that he took on the blame, the guilt, the shame, he is not well right now. I’m having to keep my eye on him at every moment as this has really impacted us. There’s a little more but I am not ready to go further on the last thing as it was very humiliating to me.
      People don’t understand how these ‘little things’ (getting out to meet Snoop) are quite a big deal to people dealing with severe disability, isolated, and have no true respite in life. Missing out on the meet and greet. I grew up listening to Snoop. Missing out on the merchandise we PAID for in that package. Missing out on the experience. To an abled person, it’s just a disappointment. To a disabled person, you just destroyed their world. It takes a long time to heal from that. My son and I are both numb. Truly numb. His own words which I’ve said to myself. What truly did we do wrong to deserve this? And then how they treated the disabled. Two parts to this.

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      1. I have filed an official complaint and it was accepted and two violations were listed and will be investigated. I’m not sure what the 2nd violation means but they read the complaint and determined what type of violations existed for the complaint and then I’ll sign off and the venue will have 30 days to respond. Then they investigate and make a determination. I don’t know what happens if it’s found in my favor but I know if they determine there isn’t enough evidence, I’ll have 90 days after that to file a civil suit. I will likely try to find a disability advocate to help me with the process and explain how this all works and what it means and how to make things right. There’s 2 parts to this situation, losing out on a once in a lifetime event that we paid for without cause or a justifiable reason or even explanation and the discrimination, lack of accommodations and treatment for disabled people in this type of situation with no recourse or ability to dispute it. It is a very traumatizing thing to go through both for my son and for me. This is probably the first time I’ve not been able to just ‘deal’ with a loss and move on. We’ve both been through so much in our lives and a lot recently so this night was a big thing for us both and for my son, concerts are truly his only respite and usually his dad will take him but I grew up listening to Snoop and really needed to get out of the house as I’ve been stuck for a while and we’re pretty isolated. We had our first real family vacation earlier this year after many many years and that really sparked a desire in me to get out and get opportunities to enjoy life while I have it. Losing that as well as the horror we experienced just tainted everything. I don’t have opportunities or resources to just run out and make up for it so we’re stuck with that negative experience in our minds. My next venture out isn’t until March of next year and I already have huge anxiety over it.
        Thank you for responding and sharing that info. I appreciate it.

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