It’s all In Head…too real

I scream with rage

Deep within

You twist my words

You think you’ll win?


You make me question

That’s it’s all in my head

Would you rather

That I end up dead?


You think I like this

Daily pain?

You rather I feel

I’m going insane?


What do I want?

I want to dance

I want to act with reckless abandon

Without worrying about having to pay for it later


I want to chase my kids again.

I want to play and go out without having to

Chase a pain pill first.

I want to live in the moment and not have to

Plan every little thing.

I want my kids to be able to know that

I can pick them up whenever they need

I want to volunteer at my daughter’s school

I don’t want to have anxiety over a concert five months in advance.

Where will I park?  What if it’s a long walk?  Will the noise be too overwhelming?

Will I need a pain pill?  How will I drive home if I do?

Will I be able to sway to the music and get into the beat.

Without grabbing my back flaring in pain?

Will I have to sit the whole time cause it hurts to stand?


I want to run again.


DM 9/15/16

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